the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize