i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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