Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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