Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My penis needs a shock collar
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
