Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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