My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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