how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
