Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize