what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
