All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
