Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
