If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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