I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
