i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
