i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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