i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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