It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
