3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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