She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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