With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
