when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
