That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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