i love accidental penises.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
