I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
