Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
