She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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