Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
