Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
