everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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