your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
