I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
