the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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