I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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