oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
