don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
