Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
