she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
