been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
