My first STD was from a foam party
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
