i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
