Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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