I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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