is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
