Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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