yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize