She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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