im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
