I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Vodka?
Forever.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
