so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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