btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
