saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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