hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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