every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My balls are so social today.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
