Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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