it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
