How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
one might say we're banned from that church
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
