you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
