I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
