I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
