i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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