can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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