Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dick very happy bro
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
