dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
