Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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