Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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