Whoa Z and x make the same sound
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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