"it" just moved
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She made me pour olive oil on her.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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