Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize