is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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